Thank you so much for this! It seems like most people think this episode was somehow such a great change, but I fail to see how the Doctor and Clara arguing, and him lying to her and everyone else, is different from any other episode this season.
I'm so sick of shows about dysfunctional relationships! Watching Doctor Who get turned into one is just depressing as hell. It used to be about exploring the universe and making friends with people who came from different times and places, and I really miss that. The thing that made me like DW in the first place was that it had a sense of wonder about life, and real heart at it's core. It was more than just monsters and space ships, it was different from anything else on TV, and it was special. Now, it's just one more cynical show with a bitchy misanthropic leading man, and the doormat woman who unreasonably adores him, despite the fact that he treats her like crap. It's barely even sci-fi anymore, considering most of the screen-time these days is given over to the characters endless discussions of their dysfunctional relationships. (And these conversations clearly have no purpose, since no one ever realizes, 'gee, we really dislike/distrust one another: let's break up!' DUH!)
I completely agree with you that if this dynamic doesn't change or isn't at least addressed by the end of this year, I'm done until we get new leadership. I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with this show: I keep coming back hoping it'll get better, but every new episode keeps coming up with ever more disturbing things to put on screen and pass off as 'normal' and 'okay'. Sadly, I really don't have much faith in ANY of the writers this year, since they've all come up with appalling things. (And yes, if Moffat okayed them, he is partially responsible.)
I've heard so many people defend the Doctor's actions this year, but all I know is that if anyone I knew in real life behaved the way this Doctor has, I would have left them long ago. Just because someone is a man, or old, or been through a rough time, that doesn't give them any right to treat other people disrespectfully or routinely lie to them, and I hold fictional characters to the same standards I hold real people. I really wonder if they HAD cast a woman as Twelve, and she behaved this way, the same lines, the same attitude, if so many people would think she was still wonderful and rush to defend her, saying, 'oh, but the Doctor's always been like this! She isn't any different AT ALL! It's totally okay!' (But then, if these writers had a female Doctor, they'd never even dream of writing her this way in the first place. In their minds, women are passive victims who pine for men and flirt with them, and only act when it's in service of the man they love.)
But anyway, your review is spot on, and I'm so glad someone called out the bad relationship aspect so well.